Two Weeks In

So it's been 2 weeks now since I decided to change my lifestyle.  No, not go on a diet.  Change the way I think about and behave with food.  There have been ups and there have been downs, but mostly ups so I'm pretty please.  Baby steps people, baby freaking steps.

I've grocery shopped 2 weeks in a row, and tomorrow will make 3 in a row.  I've bought healthy foods, prepped on the weekend, and brought breakfast and lunch to work every day for the last two weeks.  The only exception (and it was a BIG exception), was last Friday's quarterly meeting/lunch at Bucca di Beppo.  OY.  But with a little guidance from my clean eating fairy (thanks Mindles!), I made decent choices at Bucca and didn't go over.  I also had a date (ha!) Friday night, and we had pizza.  That was the meal that took me over plan.  But this time it was a totally different reaction from me.

I got right back to eating good the next day.  Whoa.  Who am I?  I'm not looking for ginormous weight loss, especially since my old football knee injury - that's my story and I'm sticking to it - has been acting up so I can't really get going with the workouts like I'd planned.  But breakfast, lunch and dinner have all been decidedly NOT fast food so that right there is a major accomplishment for me.  If you know me, then you know that for most of my adult life fast food has been my mainstay - usually 3 meals a day/7 days a week.  So you can see that is a hugemongous change right there.

I also realize that since I'm trying to have a life, I'm going to have to figure out how to eat when I go out.  That was tested this week as both Book Club and Wednesday Night Supper Club hit the same week.  Book Club was at Fadi's, and I scaled way back on what I would normally eat there by just having a beef kabob served on about a cup of rice.  WNSC was another story entirely.  Mario Sabino's on Lemmon.  OMG.  Yum.  But again, I went with beef and rice - had the skirt steak with charro beans and rice.  And not an entire bowl of chips and salsa, but I def didn't deprive myself of them either.  So it's all about choices I'm learning.

And on another front...choices.  So far I've made the choice to not see him.  But my willpower is shaky at best right now.  I'm not cutting him out of my life because, hey, I am in love with him, no matter how he does or doesn't feel.  But I haven't seen him in a few months even though we've been texting a lot.  I'll take that final step and burn the bridge when I'm ready.  I'm just not ready yet.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm going to rate current borderline madness as a 6.  It's not going as well as when I was actively in DBT, but I've got books and workbooks, and all my materials from DBT and so it's def better than before treatment.